bombay
02-08 10:07 PM
Hi,
I been a member of IV for a long time and just to keep myself anonymous for a while I created this account. I am so sorry for opening a thread in a completely irrelevant forum but I have no idea what to do. So, I request all the members to please help me by providing some kind of information.
Here is my story:
I came to US in 2002 and completed masters and been working since then. I got married couple of years ago. Whatever the monetary gifts the girls parents gave as part of the marriage, I put all that in an account on the girls name within 2 days of the marriage. We came to India and from then on the problems started. She and her parents want me to separate from my parents and support their family by sending money to their parents which I couldn't do. How can I leave my parents in their old age when they worked very hard to give a decent life. She has been harassing me mentally for this all the time. Recently her parents have been threatening me saying they will file dowry case in India if I don't send money or cut myself off from my parents. I provided for the girl in all possible ways, even encouraged her to join school to get a masters degree which she stopped soon. We had a baby recently and my parents visited us to help us with the baby. She started harassing them too by saying something or other.
I am very frustrated at this situation and I don't know what to do. I am on H1B and applied for 485 too. At times I feel like applying for divorce but when I think about my little baby I am not able to take that step. The house we currently live in, I bought long before the marriage. It came to a situation where we cannot live together. I cannot ask her to go out of the house because she doesn't have anywhere to go and with the baby even if she leaves, it will be very tough. I said I will leave the house and stay in a apartment for which she threatens to commit suicide. So, I don't know what to do. I am worried about my baby because between all this my baby's life will be spoiled and I don't want that. Can anyone please tell me what I can do in this matter?
Thank you very much for taking time to read this.
I am in the same boat as yours. Let me tell you my story and my ways. I hope you may get some idea but it does not mean you can do the same.
I am a hard working guy, IIT bombay and came to US on 2002( H1B). Prior to that i have a self start business with employees working in India.
The company where i am working was giving me a tough time with deadlines and i used to work 110 hours every week. I managed to get 1 month vacation in december and start searching for someone from shaadi.com. I had a list of 10 girls born in india(nurse, GC holders) so i started approaching each that i am going to india to get married The first few rejected me and one accepted and i have to book her tickets to india and do all the marriage expenses. The girls parents did not give a penny not purchased few dress for the girl to come and stay in my house for 3 days. My in laws demanded my parents that i should stay at their house for 7 days so i did. During the stay they pointed errors on me and the same thing happened when i came to US with my wife. I was tensed, started skipping lunch and working hard with couple of coffee. At last i was unable to concentrate on my work and used to get drowsy at work. Meantime when i stayed at her parents house they wanted the daughters to buy a house near to their house and after few years come back to india. Which i told a straight NO. After coming to US my wife send $34.5K to india to buy land as forced by her dad. and after one more year her dad asked for 10 lakhs more. Which she send to her dad. They had purchased a house in her brothers name at this point. From marriage till now, we don't have a common bank account, no same last name (its now 2 years after marriage)., I have no idea about her money nor her bank accounts nor credit cards. She has asked me for divorce 2 times, first time after 1 month and later after 3 months after mariage and last month her dad and her brother are asking for a divorce. Her brother send me one email that my side was asking dowry and second email that i am harrasing her. Her brother have send me a intelligent email that can be used against me for divorce or putting me behind bars.
What i understand from the issues,
1. If your in laws are uncultured. Whenever you talk use some bad words. No matter what happens.
2. If they ask you for divorce, tell that you are ready Lets do it today. download the divorce forms from the website and tell that you would gladly do whatever the court tells you to do. you will opt for joint custody of the baby and she has to pay you child compensation as per the laws of united states. (since you have spend more than 1 year in US so you can take divorce here).
3. If you have to send money to your parents send it. you are a guy and have to take care of your parents. Marriage does not have a meaning if both sides don't work at it and divorce is very common in US. If not today then tommorrow the day will come.
4. Be bold. don't make your weakness take control over you. If you think you want to move out to a appartment move out. If you think you want to come home and lock yourself in a room till next day do it.
5. Learn spouse abuse terms and battery types from the internet. Never do anything that will cross that line. My wife started threatingme about spouse abuse just one month after marriage. I started avoiding her totally. My famous dialogue I don't care.
6. Explain your wife, You know men are weak and i will do everything that is as per law. If we get into a divorce i will accept it and pay the child support or leave this country. What do you want? Make her feel that she is unsecured.
7. Be careful in laws can be bitches.
Bottomline :- If you get scared, you will ruin your life. the society won't respect you because you will soon gain a bad temper. Nor your wife will stay with you if you are a failure.
Anyway, I am married for 2 years, no kids. Not planning anyway for kids . I pray to god that i don't end up like you. The only positive thing is my wife is a GC holder and earns more than me.
I been a member of IV for a long time and just to keep myself anonymous for a while I created this account. I am so sorry for opening a thread in a completely irrelevant forum but I have no idea what to do. So, I request all the members to please help me by providing some kind of information.
Here is my story:
I came to US in 2002 and completed masters and been working since then. I got married couple of years ago. Whatever the monetary gifts the girls parents gave as part of the marriage, I put all that in an account on the girls name within 2 days of the marriage. We came to India and from then on the problems started. She and her parents want me to separate from my parents and support their family by sending money to their parents which I couldn't do. How can I leave my parents in their old age when they worked very hard to give a decent life. She has been harassing me mentally for this all the time. Recently her parents have been threatening me saying they will file dowry case in India if I don't send money or cut myself off from my parents. I provided for the girl in all possible ways, even encouraged her to join school to get a masters degree which she stopped soon. We had a baby recently and my parents visited us to help us with the baby. She started harassing them too by saying something or other.
I am very frustrated at this situation and I don't know what to do. I am on H1B and applied for 485 too. At times I feel like applying for divorce but when I think about my little baby I am not able to take that step. The house we currently live in, I bought long before the marriage. It came to a situation where we cannot live together. I cannot ask her to go out of the house because she doesn't have anywhere to go and with the baby even if she leaves, it will be very tough. I said I will leave the house and stay in a apartment for which she threatens to commit suicide. So, I don't know what to do. I am worried about my baby because between all this my baby's life will be spoiled and I don't want that. Can anyone please tell me what I can do in this matter?
Thank you very much for taking time to read this.
I am in the same boat as yours. Let me tell you my story and my ways. I hope you may get some idea but it does not mean you can do the same.
I am a hard working guy, IIT bombay and came to US on 2002( H1B). Prior to that i have a self start business with employees working in India.
The company where i am working was giving me a tough time with deadlines and i used to work 110 hours every week. I managed to get 1 month vacation in december and start searching for someone from shaadi.com. I had a list of 10 girls born in india(nurse, GC holders) so i started approaching each that i am going to india to get married The first few rejected me and one accepted and i have to book her tickets to india and do all the marriage expenses. The girls parents did not give a penny not purchased few dress for the girl to come and stay in my house for 3 days. My in laws demanded my parents that i should stay at their house for 7 days so i did. During the stay they pointed errors on me and the same thing happened when i came to US with my wife. I was tensed, started skipping lunch and working hard with couple of coffee. At last i was unable to concentrate on my work and used to get drowsy at work. Meantime when i stayed at her parents house they wanted the daughters to buy a house near to their house and after few years come back to india. Which i told a straight NO. After coming to US my wife send $34.5K to india to buy land as forced by her dad. and after one more year her dad asked for 10 lakhs more. Which she send to her dad. They had purchased a house in her brothers name at this point. From marriage till now, we don't have a common bank account, no same last name (its now 2 years after marriage)., I have no idea about her money nor her bank accounts nor credit cards. She has asked me for divorce 2 times, first time after 1 month and later after 3 months after mariage and last month her dad and her brother are asking for a divorce. Her brother send me one email that my side was asking dowry and second email that i am harrasing her. Her brother have send me a intelligent email that can be used against me for divorce or putting me behind bars.
What i understand from the issues,
1. If your in laws are uncultured. Whenever you talk use some bad words. No matter what happens.
2. If they ask you for divorce, tell that you are ready Lets do it today. download the divorce forms from the website and tell that you would gladly do whatever the court tells you to do. you will opt for joint custody of the baby and she has to pay you child compensation as per the laws of united states. (since you have spend more than 1 year in US so you can take divorce here).
3. If you have to send money to your parents send it. you are a guy and have to take care of your parents. Marriage does not have a meaning if both sides don't work at it and divorce is very common in US. If not today then tommorrow the day will come.
4. Be bold. don't make your weakness take control over you. If you think you want to move out to a appartment move out. If you think you want to come home and lock yourself in a room till next day do it.
5. Learn spouse abuse terms and battery types from the internet. Never do anything that will cross that line. My wife started threatingme about spouse abuse just one month after marriage. I started avoiding her totally. My famous dialogue I don't care.
6. Explain your wife, You know men are weak and i will do everything that is as per law. If we get into a divorce i will accept it and pay the child support or leave this country. What do you want? Make her feel that she is unsecured.
7. Be careful in laws can be bitches.
Bottomline :- If you get scared, you will ruin your life. the society won't respect you because you will soon gain a bad temper. Nor your wife will stay with you if you are a failure.
Anyway, I am married for 2 years, no kids. Not planning anyway for kids . I pray to god that i don't end up like you. The only positive thing is my wife is a GC holder and earns more than me.
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Green.Tech
06-02 04:46 PM
Wake up people!
santb1975
05-25 02:31 PM
The amendments were on the senate side and the HR bills are from the house side. Please contact your state chapter lead (walking_dude for MI) for updates and find out what's happening. We have lot of work to do and we really need volunteers. I am unable to post any info. on this public forum which is open to the world.
so the amendmants which were linked to war bill are differant than all this HR bills.....?
so the amendmants which were linked to war bill are differant than all this HR bills.....?
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maverick_s39
09-15 04:18 PM
gctest, personally I don't see any issue with eb3 to eb2 porting, look at the porting opportunity from eb3 applicant's point of view, these applicants are waiting since 2001 for GCs but EB2 applicant with PDs 2005 are getting GCs, eb3 to eb2 porting is a way for them to jump ahead of 2006 eb2 filers and get their GCs, I don't see anything wrong with it, sure it causes 2003/04 eb2 filers (very few I guess) to wait a little longer but every law has a loophole and we just have to live with it,
How many eb2 filers are really qualified for eb2 labors? I see lot of consulting firms abusing eb2 labors and lot of people who are playing the game fair are left behind, I feel porting labor is a way to level the playing field, also people who filed eb3 labors in 2001, 2002 are qualified for 2005 eb2 labor anyway, just think these applicants file eb2 labor in 2005, as you said if they are not eligible they will be denied to use the opportunity and its OK if you wait a little longer
How many eb2 filers are really qualified for eb2 labors? I see lot of consulting firms abusing eb2 labors and lot of people who are playing the game fair are left behind, I feel porting labor is a way to level the playing field, also people who filed eb3 labors in 2001, 2002 are qualified for 2005 eb2 labor anyway, just think these applicants file eb2 labor in 2005, as you said if they are not eligible they will be denied to use the opportunity and its OK if you wait a little longer
more...
hopefulgc
09-11 05:06 PM
I honestly think EB3 should be around beginning of 2004 or later
and eb2 possibly mid 2005 or later.
All the calculations point to that.
visa bulletins suck donkey ass.
totally meaningless without USCIS divulging backlog stats.
I m in ...They really dont know what they are doing ...How hard is it to find pending applications in thier database ?
Move to 2006 and approve 2006 cases and move it back to 2003 ...wow they really need help
and eb2 possibly mid 2005 or later.
All the calculations point to that.
visa bulletins suck donkey ass.
totally meaningless without USCIS divulging backlog stats.
I m in ...They really dont know what they are doing ...How hard is it to find pending applications in thier database ?
Move to 2006 and approve 2006 cases and move it back to 2003 ...wow they really need help
chanduv23
11-21 04:53 PM
But.. when AOS(485) is denied, won't the underlying 140 and for that matter labor is also denied?
Well once the h1b extension is granted - it is not retreated. It means that the person is in h1b status till the h1b expires (My understanding)
Now if 485 is denied when your h1b expiration's last day - then yes you are definitely out of all statuses
Such a thing is rare because person either files for h1b extension well before h1b expires or atleast decided he will use EAD
Issues will arise when h1b has to be extended and person is running out of time on existing h1b and the 140 revoke /485 denial happens (like say few weeks only because person was lazy to file h1b extension atleast 180 days before its expiry and decided to not use premium processing and h1b extension is pending)
Well once the h1b extension is granted - it is not retreated. It means that the person is in h1b status till the h1b expires (My understanding)
Now if 485 is denied when your h1b expiration's last day - then yes you are definitely out of all statuses
Such a thing is rare because person either files for h1b extension well before h1b expires or atleast decided he will use EAD
Issues will arise when h1b has to be extended and person is running out of time on existing h1b and the 140 revoke /485 denial happens (like say few weeks only because person was lazy to file h1b extension atleast 180 days before its expiry and decided to not use premium processing and h1b extension is pending)
more...
dante1271
07-19 01:43 PM
Jimi,
I'm in Riverside.
I'm in Riverside.
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TomPlate
07-06 05:13 PM
One thing everybody need to understand here is we should not show anger even though we are angry. Please mind your words in the forum. Too bad from all people writing words which are not good.
This website is searchable from search engines like google.com and it is really bad to see any anger and bad words in this website.
Administrator do you have filter mechanism.
This website is searchable from search engines like google.com and it is really bad to see any anger and bad words in this website.
Administrator do you have filter mechanism.
more...
abhidos37
08-21 02:54 PM
Last week I went to Trenton for DL renewal with H1 extension receipt (original), letter from employer, but in vain. They need approved docs. Luckily this week I got the H1 extended and today I carried the original approved H1 I-797A and got the DL extended. I got only 2 years H1/DL extension after 6 year completion with I-140 approved and 485 in progress. Fyi
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ragz4u
03-08 11:48 AM
nothing concernign guest worker program? Backlog?
Beppen, I joined the conference a little late and heard of Sen. Brownback's amendments for extension of J1 visa rule and no cap for nurses/physical therapists in H1. They will reconvene at 2.00 again and present more amendments if there are any
Hope this helps
Beppen, I joined the conference a little late and heard of Sen. Brownback's amendments for extension of J1 visa rule and no cap for nurses/physical therapists in H1. They will reconvene at 2.00 again and present more amendments if there are any
Hope this helps
more...
pappu
12-21 10:41 PM
yabadaba, we will always have tough opposition when we try to do something. Your op-ed was very good and some people could not swallow it. You know some people can't imagine anyone from your country having good english! All these media efforts help us raise awareness, send our message across to the masses to counter anti immigrant propaganda. Due to our press coverage lawmaker offices too have started to take us seriously. Thanks to you and other IV members that are constantly helping this organization in media efforts, whether it is as small as writing emails, getting interviewed or writing articles. All these media successes are on zero budget. All IV members are our PR agents and PR firms.Thanks.
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pcs
04-25 01:18 PM
I am for it ( without diluting our present progress).
In fact it is the real date which makes sense & also provides relief to all H1-B new or old. New guys can peacefully change their jobs till their PD becomes current & do not get screwed by employers
In fact it is the real date which makes sense & also provides relief to all H1-B new or old. New guys can peacefully change their jobs till their PD becomes current & do not get screwed by employers
more...
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rajuram
05-24 10:18 PM
Which bills are you talking about? I read most were dropped from Iraq funding bill that passed recently.
We are just drifting my friend..no direction..no hope....
Please contribute IVians. We need your support to lobby for the current bills which have been introduced.
My perspective on contributing to IV, is that I would gladly contribute $100 if there was a chance that I can get my gc a few months faster because of the efforts of IV.
Got GC Stress??
Contribute To IV Today!!
We are just drifting my friend..no direction..no hope....
Please contribute IVians. We need your support to lobby for the current bills which have been introduced.
My perspective on contributing to IV, is that I would gladly contribute $100 if there was a chance that I can get my gc a few months faster because of the efforts of IV.
Got GC Stress??
Contribute To IV Today!!
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phigi
08-12 01:02 PM
Is it legal to pass the fee hike to the employee? or is it like the Fraud Prevention fee which is illegal to be passed on to the employee..?
this will change the equation until companies assimilate this in and find the work around! well, it definitely eats into their 'profit' i guess!
this will change the equation until companies assimilate this in and find the work around! well, it definitely eats into their 'profit' i guess!
more...
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gctoget
07-16 11:53 AM
nice to see good activity on the forum. Please hold on from holding any rally until you hear from IV core. We have some good synergy amongst or members in So Cal, lets plan a meeting in the coming weeks and decide on an action plan. I would encourage you to start thinking about ideas/specific actions we can take. I have a few ideas and would share it on our so cal email distribution list. Who can take the initiative to organize this meeting? Twinbrothers? any one else? Pls P.M me.
Hi,
I have made a list of all SoCal members. It is coming upto 50. Please give us instructions on arranging a rally in LA, SanDiego or Orange county ASAP.
Hi,
I have made a list of all SoCal members. It is coming upto 50. Please give us instructions on arranging a rally in LA, SanDiego or Orange county ASAP.
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mw_immi
01-07 01:43 PM
I have pending 485, used Bank of America for my home loan. No problems whatsoever. And, I know loads of people who have bought homes while on H1B or pending 140/485. I believe 2009-2011 will probably be the best time to buy a home. If you can afford it and if you have job security, then you must buy one (rent it if you dont want to live). The aprs available currently is unbelievable (of course, good credit history and the amount you put down will decide mainly).
Did you have unexpired H1B / I-94? In my case I am on EAD / pending I-485 / AOS (expired H1 / I-94) & BOA didn't approve.
Do you know any one who didn't have H1B / I-94 but got loan from BOA based on AOS?
Did you have unexpired H1B / I-94? In my case I am on EAD / pending I-485 / AOS (expired H1 / I-94) & BOA didn't approve.
Do you know any one who didn't have H1B / I-94 but got loan from BOA based on AOS?
more...
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wandmaker
05-23 08:54 AM
wondering how yu came up with a list of contributors.......if i provide my transfer confirmations to IV and still cannot find my name in the list then how will I trust the veracity of yur list.....
....not for an argument but a query
It is not automatic - santb1975 has to manually go through the posts and update the list. Manual error happens - if your/anyone's name is missing, please do post in this thread, the list will be updated as soon as possible (not in the next minute or hour).
....not for an argument but a query
It is not automatic - santb1975 has to manually go through the posts and update the list. Manual error happens - if your/anyone's name is missing, please do post in this thread, the list will be updated as soon as possible (not in the next minute or hour).
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GCOP
08-13 04:01 PM
I believe, as mentioned earlier by willwin; we should meet the congress members to win their support for Visa Recapture Bill. IV is requested to set up the date and meetings. We are ready to participate.
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PKV4voice
09-16 08:30 PM
Unable to participate due to prior commitments (travelling in Mid West)
Contributed $200
Google Order # 332995467726386
Appreciate IV's initiative. Thanks a ton.
Contributed $200
Google Order # 332995467726386
Appreciate IV's initiative. Thanks a ton.
GCBy3000
07-23 05:21 PM
What will happen to IV in next few months if every one gets GC? Will there be a Pappu / waldenpond / whoever? I am seeing today lots of people getting GC. I am happy for them.
Assume one day there are no backlogs and no country quota limit. What will be IVs agenda? I want to be active member of IV even after getting my GC helping the future immigrants. At least I say that now :)
Assume one day there are no backlogs and no country quota limit. What will be IVs agenda? I want to be active member of IV even after getting my GC helping the future immigrants. At least I say that now :)
bestin
08-23 05:23 PM
This is what i understand
1.Advanced Degree-(where most of us fall into ) it is either masters or Bachelors+5 years
2.Exceptional Ability- Assume a guy who has a diploma or a 3 year degree with some certifications.In a normal scenerio he would apply for EB3.But this opens up the scope for him to apply in EB2 also provided he satisfies a 10 year experience and any other stuff from the criteria below...
Criteria
Official academic record showing that you have a degree, diploma, certificate, or similar award from a college, university, school, or other institution of learning relating to your area of exceptional ability
Letters documenting at least 10 years of full-time experience in your occupation
A license to practice your profession or certification for your profession or occupation
Evidence that you have commanded a salary or other remuneration for services that demonstrates your exceptional ability
Membership in a professional association(s)
Recognition for your achievements and significant contributions to your industry or field by your peers, government entities, professional or business organizations
Other comparable evidence of eligibility is also acceptable.
1.Advanced Degree-(where most of us fall into ) it is either masters or Bachelors+5 years
2.Exceptional Ability- Assume a guy who has a diploma or a 3 year degree with some certifications.In a normal scenerio he would apply for EB3.But this opens up the scope for him to apply in EB2 also provided he satisfies a 10 year experience and any other stuff from the criteria below...
Criteria
Official academic record showing that you have a degree, diploma, certificate, or similar award from a college, university, school, or other institution of learning relating to your area of exceptional ability
Letters documenting at least 10 years of full-time experience in your occupation
A license to practice your profession or certification for your profession or occupation
Evidence that you have commanded a salary or other remuneration for services that demonstrates your exceptional ability
Membership in a professional association(s)
Recognition for your achievements and significant contributions to your industry or field by your peers, government entities, professional or business organizations
Other comparable evidence of eligibility is also acceptable.
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